Knowing conformism

I wanted to know the whole truth about conformity and non-conformity. By far, I barely knew the real difference, so I set out to understand all the aspects that led to the discreetness of the split.

I needed to start at home — to be able to make sense of these things you need to rediscover the thoughts that prevailed at your home. As a girl child, my roaming around was frowned upon, my yelling was shushed, my questions were mostly fake answered, moreover if guests came over to my house I’d have to dance like a showgirl and pretend to like it when they praised. I know, as a child you can be unreasonable at times, but when I outrightly denied such requests, I became a rebel.

When the outside world comes at you with labels, prejudice & all its recently learned rationality, it tends to terribly misunderstand you, make you miserable, and your isolation seems imminent. You get scared. You fast forward the process and begin to isolate yourself. Of course, if you know about the problem in advance you will prepare yourself to valiantly fight it, but when it starts earlier than you thought it would, it takes a demonic shape. Even if you take it head on, you get misshapen without your armour.

At this point in your life, when you are struggling, and someone comes to you with a warm blanket and hot cocoa of assurances, asks you to stop struggling and give up, you make a choice for your entire life ahead. I gave up the struggle and embraced dignity.

I learnt to understand reason like a grown-up — to say all the right words when someone asks a question. While everyone else found it amusing and conforming, I drove my anger, rebelliousness and provoking thoughts inward. Conflict is, therefore, deep seated in my foundation.

Now, I face another disaster — adulthood.

The madness of unsolved problems, brimming sea of contorted labels, the economic divide, expertise and idiosyncrasies, gender discrimination, global trade and slow down, data privacy, learning machines, burning forests, excess of caffeine, technological advancements, advertisements, industries, racism and what not.

I am doubting my own decision to explore the reign of conformism (Are people even thinking about it? ). I don’t know how everything I write becomes sort of a self journey. I am no good at writing and my thought process is all juggled up. It’s hard to distinguish yourself from the problem, but that doesn’t mean you won’t try. It is all the more important, if you are the problem.

Conformism stems from acceptance of presented facts without thought. Voicing the radical ideas in one way or the other (in non-verbal ways too) is difficult to even informed or intellectuals. Conformism is not class dependent, it gets latched to a person’s belief system and keeps growing unless someone starts to seriously question their judgements, prejudices or actions.

On the other hand — who is a non-conformist?

Non-conformist: One who does not conform to, or refuses to be bound by, accepted beliefs, customs, or practices. This started out as a movement of protestants in western world.

Non-conformism has various definitions available in dictionaries and online. One search engine describes it as a defect, something which doesn’t conform to the rest of the system, but I believe otherwise. Non-conformity is a system of it’s own, a system that challenges the existence of the other, a system that denies authority, adulteration or mimic of any kind. It isn’t compulsive, it is the most natural flow of consciousness. It isn’t a sign of intelligence or intellect, it is a sign of conviction and a belief in oneself (rather experimented self, something with proof even), where several may see it as rebelliousness, something that needs to be removed or an outcast, it is to be rather seen as something that brings balance.

Say no when it is time, don’t quiver.

Say it out loud, to everyone. Let everyone label you, collect those tattered labels (good or bad) over a period of time and disintegrate them, one after the other. And do what? Ask yourself all those questions which you don’t want to answer and answer them, if you don’t have them, then find them.

On the spectrum of belief system and conscience, everyone varies in the level of conformity and non-conformity each possesses.

I work as a software test engineer at a technologies ltd. Concept of non-conformity lives on my very sleeve, I need to find such things which don’t conform with the design, or requirements, something that would make a machine or a piece of program unstable, weak or sometimes susceptible to be rendered useless. I point to these non-conformities and earn a living out of it. I haven’t done any serious work till now though, lines blur in my head, hence this post. Forwards and upwards.

It’s a long hard road to non-conformity, to be an individual material.

Shed the skin you’ve grown accustomed to.

Further Reads: https://chrisguillebeau.com/non-conformist/, https://www.eggshelltherapy.com/being-a-non-conformist/

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